Hard Rock CaféJackson Brewery in the French Quarter Ignatius Reilly, the protaganist in John Kennedy Toole's wonderful novel A Confederacy of Dunces would regularly refer to his "valve closing" when something happened that offended his sensibilities. On the New Orleans Mailing List, whenever we get into a discussion about various abominations that occur in the city, such as Subway Sandwiches, Planet Hollywood or Hooters in the Quarter, "valves" can be heard closing all around the world. So, apologies to any purists who feel that Hard Rock should be in Westwego rather than the Quarter, but it's not really part of the Quarter. We ate at Hard Rock on the day after we got back from Houston. It was a Friday, Helen had taken the week off from work, so we decided to take the kids to the Aquarium. Justin particularly wanted to go to the Aquarium because they started a promotion called the "Glub Club," where the kids sign up and get a membership card and a set of pogs (those milk-cap things for anyone not around kids) that have sharks and fish on them. We didn't get out of the house right away, so it was decided that we'd eat lunch then walk over to the Aquarium. I figured that we'd eat at either Maspero's or the Crescent City Brewhouse. As we were walking in front of the Brewery's Warehouse building (there's the original brewery building, the Millhouse next door to it, then the Warehouse building a block away), we passed in front of Hard Rock. Helen commented that she'd never eaten there, so we decided to give it a try. I had eaten at Hard Rock once before, one evening during the '92 presidential campaign. We were in the Quarter that evening to hear then-Gov. Clinton speak at Woldenberg Park, realized that none of us had ever eaten at Hard Rock, and decided to rectify that situation. I must admit that I enjoy theme restaurants. Whether it's the music memorabilia around Hard Rock or the drive-in-style place at the Disney- MGM Studio in Orlando (where the tables are all built like '57 Chevys), I get a kick out of them. Most of the time, however, one expects a certain reduced quality level when it comes to the food. This is why most New Orleanians shun "atmosphere." If the money is spent on how the place looks, it's not being spent in the kitchen, with only a very few rare exceptions (like some of the restaurants in our better hotels). On that first trip to Hard Rock, I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of the burger I had. The ingredients were fresh and of good quality. The earth didn't move for me, but it was a decent enough meal to warrant a return trip and earn the burger an honorable mention on my Top Ten New Orleans Hamburgers list. Kids in strollers in the Quarter is becoming a more and more common site, in spite of the raucous reputation of New Orleans (and Bourbon Street in particular). Fortunately for families with small children, restaurants are starting to realize that the grown-ups aren't going to eat at their place if they don't allow the kids in and be nice to them. Hard Rock has definitely figured this out. We were seated by a very polite hostess who put the stroller on the side out of the way and quickly got us a high chair. When we were all settled, she also brought a special kid's place mat for Justin (our 7 year-old) and a couple of crayons for him to work on while waiting. Limbots should be forewarned that the puzzles spell out things like "Save the Planet," and other environmentally-conscious stuff. Our waiter got us our drinks and the ubiquitous glasses of ice water necessary in New Orleans wherever you eat lunch. The menu is standard "fern-bar" fare: burgers, salads, grilled chicken and fish sandwiches, etc. The hamburger worked on my previous visit, so I went with it again. Helen ordered a grilled bar-b- q chicken sandwich, and Justin went with a kid's burger plate. Kevin went with Gerber and mooching fries from the rest of us. Turn-around time on the food was pretty good, quick enough that it's possible for working folks to do Hard Rock in an hour (depending on getting in and out of the Quarter, of course). My burger was quite good--they know what "medium rare" means. The cheese was good quality, and the lettuce and tomato were fresh. Helen's chicken sandwich was excellent. The chicken was nicely grilled, and the sauce was one of those "Tennessee-style" sauces--citrusy instead of a heavy tomato-red bbq sauce. Very good. The fries were hot and fresh, and Justin's kid burger was cooked well done the way he likes it. The bread was more of a traditional burger bun rather than a french roll (like they server across the street at Maspero's), but it was fresh. Service was solid. Our waiter wasn't the syrupy type you often find at a franchise place ("Hi, I'm Mike, and I'll be your waiter today."), but he wasn't rude, either. He kept the soft drinks filled and monitored my progress on my beer without being intrusive. The decor and the collection of music memorabila at Hard Rock are fun to look around and enjoy. Lots of guitars autographed by all sorts of musicians. The walls are lined with gold records, old album jackets, and music and concert posters. One poster that caught my eye was a promo for a Funky Meters gig at Tip's. It has to be from just when Tip's opened. There were many other local pieces on the walls, making the trip a fun one as well as a decent meal. I probably won't be going back to Hard Rock New Orleans for some time. Once every two or three years is enough to satisfy my curiosity. So many good restaurants, so little time...
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