New Orleans Beignets
"Coffee as strong as Cafe' du Monde,
Donuts are too hot to touch.
Just like a fool, when those sweet goodies cool,
I eat till I eat way too much."
Jimmy Buffett, "The Wino and I Know" (on his album "Living and Dying in Three-Quarter Time")
Buffett's on the mark on this one. It's more than possible to eat way too much coffee and donuts, that's for sure. He's also right about the terminology, also: locals usually refer to beignets as "donuts," as in "coffee and donuts." The phrase "coffee and donuts" doesn't mean stopping at the Dunkin' or Tastee place. It means something very specific, either Cafe du Monde or Morning Call. (Yes, I know Morning Call is in Metairie, but it wasn't always. More on that later).
It's a "sweet little goodie." I like that definition, but something more specific is in order here. A beignet is a rectangle of donut dough, about 3 1/2" x 3". They're made by rolling out the dough, then cutting them into shape with a donut-cutter fashioned like a rolling pin that has the metal frame of the shapes wrapped around it. These dough rectangles are then deep fried until they puff up. They're scooped out of the oil, drained, then placed on saucers, three per dish. They are then covered with powdered confectioner's sugar and served. I'm afraid I don't have a specific recipe for those of you who want to cook up a batch of these at home. I've never attempted such a feat. To me, eating beignets at anyplace other than CDM or MC would spoil all of the enjoyment.
It's been across from Jackson Square since the 1860's. Open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, Cafe du Monde is an experience that no visitor should miss, and no local should forget to do often. CDM is the up-river anchor of the French Market complex, at 1039 Decatur, or Decatur corner of St. Ann. CDM (this is the abbreviation found on the big yellow cans of Cafe' du Monde coffee) is immediately recognizable by its large green-and-white-striped awning over the outside patio. This is your first decision--whether to sit outside or inside. There was a time when locals would deliberately inside, to distinguish themselves from the gawking tourists. I guess it depends on the particular crowd at CDM at a given moment, because the only time I've ever sat inside is when the crowd on the patio was really a bunch of jerks. Outside of that unfortunate circumstance, I prefer to soak in the atmosphere.
If you come to CDM on a weekend afternoon or evening, you may not have much choice in seating. This isn't a fancy place, obvisouly, so if you see an open table, jump on it, in true New Orleans fashion. If you don't, someone will just take it and leave you standing there. Don't bother waiting for a wait person to come and clean the table off; they'll do that after you've sat down. If you stand on ceremony, you'll continue to stand. You also don't have to wait for someone to bring you a menu--you'll find it on the side of the napkin dispenser on the table. It's actually quite simple, and not needing to refer to a menu here is the true sign of a local. For those of you who want to reach that exalted state, here's the menu (my editorial comments follow):
Coffee
(cafe au lait or black)
Decaffenitated Coffee
Beignets
(order of 3 French doughnuts)
Cold Milk
(white or chocolate)
Iced Coffee
(Reg/Decaf)
Hot Chocolate
Fresh Squeezed
Orange Juice
Soft Drinks
Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite
Some of this stuff is relatively new, such as juice, soft drinks and iced coffee. Frankly, I've never had anything but coffee, milk or hot chocolate with beignets in my life. I suppose the other stuff is there to placate the tourists on hot summer afternoons. I can't vouch for the quality of your experience with beignets if you wash 'em down with anything other than the three aforementioned drinks. Your coffee strategy should be simple: cafe au lait. Even if you're a black coffee drinker at home, DON'T DRINK THIS COFFEE BLACK! This ain't yo daddy's coffee back home; this is CDM dark roast coffee with chicory. In its undiluted form, this coffee is Evil Incarnate. My favorite CDM coffee story happened in the late '70s. A real "manly man" who looked like he just got off of his cow from the Texas Panhandle sauntered in with his sweetie. The waitress was a young Vietnamese woman whose command of English was not so great. She just didn't know to explain about the coffee to this guy, so a lady at a nearby table tried to warn him off. In a tone that's familiar to anyone who's been with a real macho guy after two hurricanes or so, he tells her, "beg pardon, ma'am, but I *always* drink my coffee black." I kicked my feet back and smiled, waiting for the floor show to begin. To his credit, this lout didn't make too much of a scene when that first swallow of black CDM coffee went down his throat. I was surprised that his male ego forced him to continue drinking. By the end of the cup, he had that look that made me glad he wasn't going to throw up in the backseat of my car, and I actually felt sorry for the cabbie who would be cleaning up after him later on, a rarity for a New Orleanian.
There's a certain technique in ordering your coffee and donuts. If you're with a group, total up everything to be ordered and give it to the waiter at one time. For example, if your group is two couples, you'd say "four coffees and four orders." Orders of what, you ask? Don't be a geeky tourist! They only sell one thing in "orders," and that's the beignets! When ordering, remember that beignets are little rectangles of deep-fried dough. They can turn into little bricks inside a stomach already filled with alcohol. If you've had a big meal at Mr. B's or Galatoire's, or if you've been to Pat O's, etc., consider splitting one order between two people. You can always get more if those disappear. There's no particular technique when it comes to eating donuts, however. The sugar is going to scatter and get all over everyone and everything. Resign yourself to this fact, and you'll enjoy your dessert all the better.
Time was when there were two classic places in the Quarter where you could go to get coffee and donuts. There was CDM, of course, but there was also the big coffee cup sign at the place at St. Philip and Decatur in the French Market--Morning Call. Because it was more towards the "residential" side of the Quarter, Morning Call always had more of a "local" flavor to it, as opposed to the "tourist" feel you get at CDM. Morning Call was the entrance to the old Farmer's Market section of the French Market for years, until the owners moved the place, sign and all, out to Metairie, across from Lakeside Shopping Center. This was done in the mid-'70s when disco was at its height and Metairie businessmen were all excited about the development of the area upriver from Causeway Blvd., north of Veterans Blvd, which became known as "Fat City." Disco has come and gone, but Morning Call has become as much of a Metairie institution that it was in the Quarter.
When you walk in Morning Call, you'd swear you were still in the French Market. The mirrored counter area, the stools, everything from the old location was moved to Metairie. I remember the first time I went to Galatoire's, and thinking that the mirrors around the perimeter reminded me a lot of Morning Call!
The menu at MC is a bit more simplistic than at CDM -- Coffee, milk, hot chocolate, and beignets. The hours are the same -- we never close.
This is another religious discussion, like muffelettas. I find the donuts at Morning Call to be consistently better than at CDM. Perhaps it's the difference in volume (CDM is a larger and busier place); I don't think it's anything special in the preparation or the dough. There's no way the current MC can beat CDM for atmosphere, since 17th and Severn in Metairie is about the 5th level of Dante's Inferno (note there are other places in the metro area that qualify for the 6th and 7th levels). Still, when one has the craving, MC is a welcome refuge from suburban blight. Step inside, and you're on a different planet. In that sense, MC has one up on CDM. The mirrors on the walls, the ceiling fans inside, and the fact that you can see the waiter's prep station. Coffee is served from two 2-gallon pots kept warm on burners. One pot has hot coffee, the other hot milk. You set a cup in the middle, pick up a pot in each hand, and pour equal amounts into the cup. This ceremony takes a bit of skill, and is great to watch. The other thing that MC has going for it is that you get to put your own sugar on your donuts. Back in the '60s, both places served the donus unsugared, and patrons used round metal shaker cans to dispense the confectioners sugar on top. This practice was banned in the city in the early '70s, based on the notion that someon might try to slip LSD into the sugar shakers and get all of the tourists blasted (as Herr Limbaugh says, "I'm not making this up!") Jefferson Parish authorities never really considered this to be a great risk, so MC still puts the sugar shakers on the counters and tables. Putting your own sugar on the donuts is great fun, but dangerous if you're wearing dark colors, or clothes that might suffer adversely if they're doused in white powdered sugar. This is one of the main reasons I still enjoy MC, however--you control the sugar based on your mood.
While there is only one Morning Call location, Cafe' du Monde has branched out beyond the Quarter, into some of the local shopping Malls. There are CDM stands in New Orleans Centre (next to Da Dome), Oakwood Center on the Westbank, and The Esplanade in Chalmetairie (err, Kenner, excuse me). The donuts and coffee are just as good, and if you accept the fact that you're not overlooking Jackson Square, they're just as enjoyable.
I try to get out of the house at least one morning or two a week and go down to this newfangled coffee place on Clearview and West Esplanade for a pot of tea (English Breakfast; Capt. Picard might favor Earl Grey, but I prefer my Earl Grey in the afternoon), and a scone or two, and some quiet time where I can peck out something on the laptop. I think I'll go over to Lakeside News tomorrow and pick up the NYT, then go next door to Morning Call for something more New Orleans to start the day.
Yes, Virginia, you can get CDM coffee and beignet mix via mail order. Call +1.800.772.2927 for the catalog. One of these days I'll get something going on Virtually New Orleans about ordering this stuff; e-mail me if this would interest you.
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