Cheeseburger in Paradise...New Orleans, that is
When discussing hamburgers in New Orleans, I make a distinction
between a hamburger and a hamburger po-boy. A hamburger, as Buffett
would say, is "a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat,"
but a hamburger po-boy is two hamburger patties on french bread.
Now that McDonald's exist in just about every country on the earth
(or so it seems), hamburgers in New Orleans can be compared to
their counterparts in other cities. The po-boy as made in New
Orleans is truly unique.
So, where does one go for the quintessential hamburger or cheeseburger
in New Orleans? Here's my top ten (yes, this one rates ten):
Honorable Mention:
Hard Rock Cafe (Jax Brewery, Decatur
St. in the Quarter). It's a franchise place, but the burger
isn't bad.
Russell's Marina Grill (8555 Pontchatrain Blvd, near
West End) Russell's cheeseburger is similar to Camellia Grill's.
If you're out of position for Camellia Grill and you have that
sort of burger on your mind, this is the place.
The List:
10. (Tie) New Orleans Hamburger and Seafood Company
(several locations) It's a cut above a fast food burger,
and you get to put whatever you want on it from the salad bar
yourself.
O'Henry's Food & Spirits
(Riverbend, 3020 Severn in Metairie, 301 Baronne St. in the
CBD) O'Henry's is where you go when you want to gorge on peanuts
before eating lunch or dinner. The burger is good, and you can
get it with a choice of Swiss, mozzarella, or cheddar cheese.
Go to the Baronne St. place for lunch on Mondays and you can see
a lingerie show.
(600 block of Veterans in Metairie, S. Clearview in Metairie,
Napoleon and St. Charles Uptown and 2 I've never been to.)
Ever had a blackened burger? Just kidding. This is a spicy burger,
however. Good meat, good bread. Not for the faint of heart when
it comes to pepper.
(Decatur St., across from Jax Brewery in the Quarter). Solid half-pound
burger, dressed with fresh lettuce and tomato, good-sized pickle
wedge. Fries are seasoned (not battered), not too much, but enough
to be enjoyable. Red Stallion beer made on the premises tops off
the meal.
(Decatur St. in the Quarter) It's a good burger, but why
anyone would pass up the pastrami sandwich in favor of a burger
is beyond me.
6. Cooter Brown's
(St. Charles and Carrollton in the Riverbend) Solid burger
and cheese fries that are (arguably) as good as Fat Harry's. You
can wash it all down with your choice of any one of over 100 different
beers.
5. Camellia Grill
(S. Carrollton in the Riverbend). It's not number one in
my book, but it's still a good diner cheeseburger. The "Cannibal
Special" is no longer on the menu, but this sandwich (whose
main ingredient is a quarter pound of raw ground meat) was one
of the things that gave the place the quirky reputation it has
today.
4. (Tie) Clover Grill
(900 Bourbon St. in the Quarter) This is a very weird place
late at night, but that's to be expected given the location. Good
traditional diner burger.
Lakeview Harbor
(911 Harrison in Lakeview) The classic 1/2 pound burger
and baked potato made famous at Port of Call. Lakeview Harbor
attracts many from Metairie who are afflicted with the Metairie
Mindset (TM). It's got more of a neighborhood restaurant atmosphere
than PoC or Snug has. Lakeview is where I'd take the kids.
3. Snug Harbor
(626 Frenchman in Faubourg Marigny) The menu is similar
to Port of Call and Lakeview Harbor, but Snug Harbor still edges
out Lakeview. If Lakeview Harbor is where I'd take the kids, Snug
Harbor is where I'd take a date. Port of Call's atmosphere is
by far funkier, but I can honestly say I've had better burgers
on occasion at Snug. Besides, where else can you have Ellis Marsalis
or Charmaine Neville for dessert?
2. Bud's Broiler
(multiple locations). What's your regular number? If you
can't place your Bud's Broiler order right now out of habit, you
haven't eaten there enough. When I'm hungry, I get a #1 with onions,
a #2 with onions, an order of fries, and a chocolate shake. What's
your favorite location? Banks Street? City Park Avenue? The late,
lamented downtown location on Carondelet? The A-frame on Vets
in Kenner? Bud's Broiler is a legendary eating experience in New
Orleans that rates its own article, which I'll do one day.
1. Port of Call
(838 Esplanade in the Quarter). If anyone knows of any
other restaurant in the world that had "Zoot Allures"
by Frank Zappa on the jukebox, please e-mail me.
The place would be in the top 10 for just that even if they didn't
make the perfect hamburger. This is another candidate for its
own article expounding the virtues of their half-pound hamburger
and baked potato. Forget the steaks and only order a pizza if
you're stoned and have the munchies. You can get this burger plain,
with cheese, or with mushrooms. Lettuce, tomato, a thick slice
of onion, and some pickle slices round out the plate. Forget the
side order of mushrooms--they don't taste right unless they're
on the burger. I'm not a big fan of rum punch drinks, but
their Monsoon is quite popular. This place is the source of so
many wonderful evenings of food and fun for me that I cannot begin
to count. No hamburger gourmand can leave the city without making
a pilgrimage to Port of Call.
That's the list. I invite comments, of course. With the exception
of the top two spots, I see my list as being all very close. Absolutely
nothing can top Bud's and Port of Call, in my book, and there's
no convincing me otherwise.
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